Cuban Black Beans & Tempeh Tacos

Another yummy combination!!

Cuban Black Beans

Ingredients
*2 cans black beans (but this one I used the dry beans, just let them soak and cooked them the night before)

*1 chopped onion

*1 jalapeno sliced (with seeds and meat scooped out)

*a few other peppers (I used serranos for a kick)

*cumin

*garlic

*veggie stock

1. Saute onions and peppers until onions are translucent.

2. Add veggie stock, cumin, garlic, any other spices and black beans.

3. Simmer for about 20-30 minutes.

4. With hand mixer, chop black beans to the consistency of your liking.

Note: Make this recipe yours...try different spices, different beans, peppers, veggies, stock, etc. Pretty simple!

Tempeh Tacos

Ingredients
*One block of tempeh (chopped)

*1 chopped onion

*Diced red, green, yellow bell peppers

* corn
*black beans

*cumin

*chili powder

*cayenne peper (if you like a kick)

1. Brown tempeh (spray skillet with cooking spray).

2. Add onion, peppers, onions, black beans, corn, cumin, chili powder and any other spices.

3. Add a little water to the skillet.

4. Simmer until all the spices are evenly mixed, about 20-30 minutes, stirring ocassionally.

5. Add anything else you prefer, like cilantro, etc.

6. Chop fresh veggies for the toppings.

And you're finished! Enjoy!

Vegan Roasted Kale Chips

Vegan Roasted Kale Chips

**I found this one on the Whole Foods website; I adapted it some**

Ingredients

*1 bunch kale

*1 TBsp extra virgin olive oil

*chili powder

*nutritional yeast (I used the garlic flavored)

*garlic powder (I <3 garlic!)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350.

2. Rinse the kale. Separate the leaves from the stem (I discarded the stem). Tear leaves into smaller pieces.

3. Drizzle oil over the kale leaves. Toss.

4. Add your spices! Toss.

5. Spread single layer on pan.

6. Bake for about 5-7 minutes or until kale is brown.

Yummy!

Pumpkin Enchiladas

I will start with a recipe I've made several times and it has turned out excellent each time.

Pumpkin Enchiladas (via Hungry Girl)

Ingredients
*1/3 c. chopped onion
*2/3 c. canned pure pumpkin
*1 1/2 TBsp salsa
*1 tsp taco seasoning
*2 large corn tortillas
* 3/4 c. red enchilada sauce
*1 slice fat-free cheddar cheese (optional)
*1/4 c. shredded fat-free cheddar cheese

Directions
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
2. Saute onions in a medium heat skillet.
3. In a bowl, add pumpkin, salsa, and taco seasoning. Add onions.
4. Warm tortillas for about 15 seconds in the microwave.
5. Lay tortillas flat, side by side. Spread 2 TBsp enchilada sauce onto each one. Place a half-slice of cheese in center of each tortilla. Evely distribute pumpkin mixture between centers of the tortillas.
6. Wrap up tortillas tightly and place them in baking pan seam down. Cover with remaining enchilada sauce.
7. Bake in oven until enchiladas are hot, about 8 minutes.
8. Remove from oven and sprinkle shredded cheese on top.

Special Notes: Instead of canned enchilada sauce, I just water down my taco seasoning sometimes. You can always make this without cheese. I also like to add green onions on top and sometimes I'll add pepper to the pumpkin mixture.

**This mixture makes two servings. Usually, I at least double or triple the recipe to get a whole pan for yummy leftovers.**

Confidence...confidence...confidence....

One week away from the Gate River Run and I feel like I'm not even remotely ready for it.....Lately, I've been feeling not-good-enough. I guess we all have those moments....I'm experiencing all these new adventures; it's exciting in one way and a little nerve-wrecking in another. So, from the song "Closing Time": "Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end." Keeping positive....

Besides running, I'm going meat-free (and hopefully vegan) for the month of March via No Meat March. I'm hoping it will be a more permanent move. So far, two days in, I'm not missing meat. I'll be posting some tasty recipes as I experiment in the kitchen. Look for the first one soon! :-)

2011...what a year!

2011 was quite an interesting year for me. I did a lot for me and accomplished quite a bit: lost about 120 pounds, completed about seven 5Ks, one 5-miler, one 10-miler and my first half marathon. I experienced heartache, but then found a wonderful, loving, supportive partner in life. :-) In between all this stuff, I did something I've never done before: I dated. I got some experience in meeting new people and met a few interesting characters along the way. I also started this blog in 2011, to keep me motivated in running 150 miles in 150 days. It was definitely a motivator! I also met some amazing people who've had similar experiences or were just starting on their journey, including Ben Davis and his brother and father. Participating in the Do Life 5K tour gave me the extra push to help train for the half marathon. Thank you!

I rang in the New Year with Matt, a glass of Moscato and the sight and sound of neighbors' fireworks and company of the Squidbillies.

The first day of 2012 has been awesome. It was a lazy Sunday, at least for me. I spent some quality time with Matt, did yard work in the backyard, clipped coupons, watched the remainder of the second volume of Squidbillies, cooked dinner (with the help of my honey) and did dishes (also with the help of my honey!). I also read about a 100 pages of Kara Goucher's "Running for Women" while taking notes.

I don't have any resolutions for 2012, more like goals.
1) Complete the Gate River Run and laugh in the face of the Green Monster.
2) Complete a 5K, 10K and half marathon in a 24-hour period, aka the Tour de Pain Extreme.
3) Plan and create an herb garden and butterfly garden in the backyard.
4) Become a certified group fitness instructor.
5) Complete the 12-week Do Life Challenge.
6) Start writing my book.
7) Do life with Matt, including date nights, roadtrips, time in the kitchen, etc. :-)

Whew....I'm already working on some of these goals....can't wait to see what 2012 has in store for me!

Post Race Report

It took awhile to process things...it was such an amazing moment, well, series of moments.

I just couldn't get enough sleep the night before. First, the AC in the hotel room wasn't blowing cold air, so it was a little sticky in the room. And of course, I couldn't sleep because I was so excited. Although I fell asleep around 11 pm, I eagerly awoke when my 3 am alarm chimed. I took a shower with little water pressure, did my usual morning routines and made my oatmeal and apple breakfast. I watched the Showtime channel while eating...some weird movie beause every other channel had infomercials playing. I got my special outfit on, checked off my list: watch (check), shuffle (check), race bib (check) and pace bib (check). Matt woke up about an hour after me and got ready pretty quickly. We walked outside the hotel and got on the shuttle bus. It seemed like it took forever to get to the race site. I saw everyone around me excited. Some were drinking their special pre-race shakes. Some were conversing about their expected paces. Some were quiet (like me).

We got to the race site at about 4:50 am. Matt helped secure my bibs and my D-tag. We took pictures with the space props. We sat down to soak it all in....A little later I did my last minute pit stop and searched high and low for a water fountain (because they didn't have water out). We walked to the start area. I found my pace team with leader Marcella. I tried to focus on the tips she was giving, but my mind kept wondering about what was to come. Matt and I embraced for 5 minutes....then I was on my own....

The blast off started....countdown 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1! Then, nothing. No movement....I started to feel really antsy....I didn't pass the finish line until about 5-6 minutes after the start. What a crazy few minutes! It felt as if we were on Bourbon Street in New Orleans, except without the beads!

LMAO's "Sexy and I Know It" started my 13 mile journey. Also, what started instantly: my back began to hurt. I tried not to panic... I wasn't going to stop! Every mile marker, our pace team cheered for another mile down. I was keeping up with Marcela pretty well. Every water station we walked up to the station, then drank and walked several yards before starting again.

Around mile 2-3, the slight rain started. It felt so refreshing and kept my mind off my back. I saw the sun peek through the clouds and glisten across the Indian River during its rise. I smelt the river and its breeze. I felt the waves and currents...It was so peaceful.

About the turnaround point, my knees started hurting and my feet were aching. I still had half the race left! The cheering crowds helped me get through the last half of the race....also the many people who saw my shirt and while passing me, and congratulated me on my accomplishments kept the fire still burning.

I also kept distracted by thinking about you guys...about all who have touched my life in some way. I also thought about myself and what I have accomplished. That no one can EVER take this away from me. That I am stronger than I give myself credit for. That I am doing this!

Around mile 10, the full marathon winner, a gentleman from Nicaragua passed me....he had a police escort...how amazing! How can someone be that fast for that long!?

Around mile 11, I started crying. "It Will Rain" by Bruno Mars started playing...I guess it all became real that I was about to finish my first half marathon! Lil' Wayne's "How To Love" played after that, and I started to think about how I didn't love myself...but now I do...more crying and 1 mile left...

The intracoastal bridge was my benchmark on how far I had left. It was such a sweet sight to see the crowds and bridge get bigger. One person stood out in the crowds....I'm not sure if she was just a mirage or real. She was about my age and had dark hair pulled back. She was wearing a dark colored shirt and I think jeans. Every so many miles, she was shouting, cheering and clapping for us. As we passed, she looked us in the eyes...her encouragement helped so much! Every time I needed her, she was there!

As we turned to the park and onto the sidewalk, I couldn't hold my emotions back...I started crying until I could hardly breathe, then I had to stop....my feet, my back were hurting...my knees swollen, but I somehow found the strength to run a little faster to the finish. At the finish line, I screamed bloody murder. I think I may have annoyed those who finished near me. Marcella was there to greet me at the finish and one of the volunteers wanted to give me my medal because I was the one who made all that noise. I took a few pictures then I met up with Uncle Doug, Victor and Matt.

It felt weird to stop. The pain in my feet was throbbing and I limped around slowly. I had my breakfast and just took a deep breath....wow!

I took off my shoes and socks gingerly....I found a few monster blister souvenirs...no wonder my feet were hurting!! My legs and knees were super sore, but overall I felt great!

I can now say that I ran 13.1 miles straight without stopping. I ran it in 2:39. I got some heavy bling, a beach towel, a patch and a lifetime full of memories....I cannot wait until the next race!!

Completed at last!

Well, I finished...it was really tough, but I did it...I'm trying to soak in everything at the moment and will have a detailed report about my trip down the Indian River tomorrow. Right now, I'm thankful I can still walk (with a little limp though). :-) More information to come soon!

It...is...here

Right now I have a lot of butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I can't I believe I'm up at 3-something in the morning and I can't believe I'm about to embark on my first 13.1. I'm signed up for my pace team at the expo; it's the slowest pace for the half, but I think it'll keep me on track and push me to finish at a steady pace.

I don't know what will happen when I cross the finish line. I'm kinda nervous about that too. It's like graduation day. I have fought so hard to get here. And now it is here.

It's almost here!

I can't believe in a little over 24 hours I'll be lining up for my first half marathon...It's crazy! I need to get to bed but I'm too excited to sleep. We are leaving for Kennedy Space Center early in the morning to pick up my race packet and to watch the Atlas V rocket launch. Then, some relaxation for the rest of the day. I'll be taking lots of pictures to share. :-) About to make some hot tea...maybe that'll relax the nerves!

Confession Time

It's confession time...I'm sitting here watching a movie on Netflix wearing my 26/28 pair of workout pants and the 3X t-shirt I wore for my first walk circa February 2009. Why am I keeping clothes that are 20 sizes too big for me? Well, they are sooo comfortable and for at least the t-shirt, it's sentimental. In fact, I have kept every race/walk shirt since starting. Each one is like a trophy, proof that I made it. I'm not sure what I'll do with them--maybe make a quilt eventually. In the meantime, I'm going to wear my comfy 3X shirt and enjoy it. :-)

2 weeks...

Several weeks ago I came to terms with the end of my weight loss journey. And now I'm only 2 weeks away from completing another milestone...finishing my first half marathon. I'm nervous, excited, sad and happy. I'm wondering how I'm going to feel as I line up with my pace team at the start. I'm wondering what I'll be thinking about during the race. If I make it to the finish line, what will I do? Will I collapse? Will I be crying? Screaming? Doing a zumba shuffle?

I'm nervous and excited because it's been a llllooooonnng time coming. Two freakin' years....I don't want to disappoint myself and everyone else. I'm sad because this is yet another end and I'm happy because this ending is another fresh beginning.

I just have a lot of thoughts swirling around right now. If the 10-mile race was any indication, after the gun fired, I felt this overwhelming peace embrace me. I hope the same thing happens on 11.27!

One-year later...

I look back at the moment frequently. I could have easily slept in that morning or made up some excuse not to go. But, I'm so thankful that I took the big leap into the racing world on October 9, 2010.

Larissa, the runner, was born that day. She had lost 80 pounds and had gained a bit of confidence about her self-worth. It was time for her to accomplish a long-term goal: completing a 5K.

I'm pretty sure people thought I was crazy. Why is this fat girl wanting to run? I'm not entirely sure why I wanted to--guess it seemed like a fun and freeing activity. And maybe, just maybe, I wanted to prove to myself and the doubters out there that I could do it.

Reflecting back on my first 5K, I would describe it as extremely challenging. Ok, I'm not going to sugar-coat it. I was hurting and sweating like I've never hurt and sweated before. I was counting the minutes, the steps until it was over. But as I crossed the finish line, however, it was the MOST AMAZING feeling. Despite the pain, I felt great. I felt accomplished. I felt like super woman!

As I was listening to the awards presentation at the end of the race, I told myself: "Someday, you will get under 30."

It's taken me a year, but I think I'm ready. I'm ready to stake my claim at the top of this mountain.

Challenge Completed....So, what's next?

I've missed blogging....but life has gotten so interesting the past two months. Since the last blog post, I've ran one 5-mile race and two 5Ks. I've decreased my pace time from 11:27 to 9:46 in that same time frame. :-) I have ran more than 150 miles in less than 150 days. I am pretty proud!

So, what's next?

• First, I want to run a 5K under 30 minutes, which WILL happen on the one-year anniversary of the beginning of my running career. THE HUMAN RACE 10/8/11!! http://www.handsonjacksonville.org/HOJ_HumanRace. I am running for the adult literacy nonprofit Learn to Read Jacksonville. Our team is raising funds to help 1 in 5 adults improve their literacy skills and quality of life in Duval County. If you would like to donate to the team, either write a check payable to Learn to Read, Inc. and I'll collect it OR donate online . Everyone is welcome to cheer on Team Learn to Read at the race. It starts at 8 am at St. Johns Town Center...I hope to see you there! :-)





• Second, I will continue training for my first half marathon in November. SPACE COAST HALF MARATHON http://www.spacecoastmarathon.com/. My goal is to run the ENTIRE 13.1 miles in under 3.5 hours.
  




• Third, I want to shift my focus a bit to not only helping myself but helping others. I want to see others start running/walking, becoming healthier and living life as if it's an adventure not a chore.

For all those who haven't seen it or haven't looked at it lately, my Bailey's Gym testimonial "after" picture was updated. What a difference two years make!!

A Sign

The past four weeks could be described as a whirlwind, a beginning of a new chapter in my life. I have met someone who likes me for me, who is proud of my journey and someone who embraces every aspect of my being. We just get along and enjoy every millisecond of each other’s company. This new chapter isn’t solely dependent on meeting a man. Things have just fallen into place. My running and fitness are going well; I am completely confident that the half marathon is an attainable achievement. And I’m realizing more and more that I am not substandard to anyone and I deserve to be confident and proud. I should boast that loose skin as a sign of my failures and accomplishments. :-)

On Friday, I got a major sign of what my new chapter will include. Relatively speaking, I’ve been pretty quiet on the radar as far as openly expressing my journey. Back in December, I was nominated for being featured as a success story on the Bailey’s Gym new website. I wrote a few paragraphs and included a before and after picture. I thought about it from time to time, but forgot about it until I mentioned it to Matt last Wednesday. On Friday I got a thank you card from the gym. I am one of the few selected as a success story on the gym’s new website! When I looked at the what was back then a “current” picture, I was amazed at how much I’ve changed! That was about 80 pounds ago! Four more 5ks on my racing belt! And a whole lot of extra calories consumed! I’m sending in a more “current” picture. I mention two people specifically in my testimonial. Val, my zumba instructor, because without zumba, I would have never learned to express myself in this unique way. Zumba was the first class I attended at Bailey’s and at least in the beginning, was the only reason I came to the gym. Secondly, I mention Marie, my personal trainer. No amount of words could ever describe how grateful I am for her help, her commitment to someone who others didn’t see the fire inside of me. And, oh yes, I had a fire, but just needed someone to light it. I also can’t forget to mention my two families in Jacksonville. My library fam has been there since before the beginning and their support and encouragement…it’s helped more than anyone will ever realize. My gym fam never gave up on me. It made a difference when you remembered my name when I first started coming to the gym. I can genuinely tell you guys care about me and want to see me succeed. My zumba gals deserve a special mention. Your friendships have helped me so much through all legs of this journey. :-)

If you would like to see my testimonial (updated picture to come soon), visit my page http://baileysgym.com/about-bailey's/testimonials/larissa-buchholz.aspx .

I take this recent development as a sign of what's to come. I think it’s time….

Days 92-106

Day 93: 5.0 mi
Day 94: 3.0 mi
Day 98: 3.0 mi
Day 100: 7.0 mi (not a fluke!)
Day 101: 3.0 mi
Day 103: 0.5 mi (gotta get every bit!)
Day 106: 2.0 mi

TOTAL: 134.15 mi

This is so exciting...I will finish the first of many LJB challenges by the end of next week! 150 miles in less than 120 days! :-)

Reality has set in....

There are a lot of changes going on in my life right now, mostly positive ones! As my title says, reality has set in several ways. First, I'm actually starting to believe I can do the half marathon in November. This time last year I couldn't run a mile, well, not even a half mile. Now, I'm running 7 miles no problem! I'm realizing the sky is the limit; I can do anything I put my mind and body to. I'm starting to think about joining a recreational sports team, not sure which one yet, but I have some particular favorites. :-) Second, because of my increase in mileage, I need to buy new running shoes stat! If I can hold off to the beginning of August (like a week or so from now), I can buy some new ones. I also have to think about whether I will need to get another pair before November and whether I can break them in before GO time.

Third, for the first time in my life, I actually feel beautiful. Going on dates has helped me with this. Not to sound too conceited, but guys like looking at me. lol :-) I've always had guys who liked my physique, but I actually like it myself this time! So, slowly but surely, my confidence meter has risen to a respectable level. I am still self-conscious about some things. And this leads me to my next point. There are always going to be haters no matter your size. I think my successes have made a few jealous and envious so they nitpick on my insecurities. It hurts to a certain extent, because I have busted my ass to get where I'm at. I really challenge anyone who doubts me to follow me on my weekly training schedule and let's see who is left standing! I won't be taking a bow anytime soon! To all the doubters/haters out there, the more you nitpick, the harder I work and the better results I will obtain. THANK YOU!

All this cumulates to a huge revelation last night. I'm sorry; it's about clothes shopping again! I went to Dress Barn for the first time ever last night. I didn't know where to start...so many clothes! So, I just started walking left to go around clockwise. One of the employees greeted me and asked if I needed any help. I told her I was just browsing and this was the first time I've ever been there. She said, "Honey, you need to go to the other side. This is the plus size over here. You need the misses section." That is the best compliment I have ever received from a stranger! I was jumping up and down inside. Did I ever expect to hear that in my lifetime? No way! Did I ever expect to wear clothes which have M's and S's in the size? No, I'd thought the X's would win. End result: I bought a Size SMALL shirt on clearance!

Enjoying life as always! :-)

Days 88-91

Day 88: 1.5 mi
Day 89: 1.0 mi
Day 90: 7.0 mi (Yahoo!!)
Day 91: day off

TOTAL: 110.65 mi

Running Update! Days 53-87

I need to keep up with it more often...here's the last few weeks (well, it's been a month lol):

Day 54: 1.0 mi
Day 55: 3.0 mi
Day 56: 3.0 mi
Day 61: 3.75 mi
Day 62: 1.5 mi
Day 63: 2.0 mi
Day 64: 1.0 mi
Day 66: 1.0 mi
Day 67: 1.0 mi
Day 69: 3.0 mi
Day 76: 3.1 mi
Day 77: 5.0 mi
Day 84: 3.0 mi
Day 87: 3.0 mi

TOTAL mileage to date: 101.15 miles....I have surpassed the 100 mile mark...just can't believe I have ran 100 miles since April...Wow!! :-)

My path to the half marathon

This weekend has been the most amazing one ever! A year ago today, I would have never imagined I could complete a 5K, yet alone participate in a 5K tour! I’ve met so many fabulous people at all different paths in this big journey. I can’t explain this journey, because it is always evolving, it’s always changing. All I know is that it’s right for me.

When I started running, I was doing it for me. Now, I’m doing it for everyone. For everyone who has ever had a long-distant dream and have been told you can’t do it. For those who doubt themselves and for those who need an extra push.

Five months from today, I will proudly line up at the start line and listen to that familiar gun go off. On November 27, 2011, at 6:15 am I will be running alongside the Indian River at the Space Coast Half Marathon in Cocoa, Florida. I officially registered this morning!

I have a long ways to go between now and November 27. But to think how far I have came since January when I couldn’t even run a 5K straight through, I know I can do this! The most important aspect of this journey are you guys! The support has been overwhelming and it makes a difference. Thank you so much!!

Benchmark 100

Preface

It’s really amazing and frightening at times that I am opening up completely on this blog for everyone to see. Some people are open books and can talk about the most sensitive subjects without a blink (not that there’s anything wrong with that). I’m not saying that I hide stuff, but I am no open book. I think this may have to do with being betrayed so many times. I don’t open up to anyone, and to those I do open up, it takes time to build that trust. And yet, I am now opening up to the whole world on this blog. I think I’m doing this for the greater good and for the greater me or maybe I’m just crazy. I am writing this preface because what I’m about to say—it’s been a long time coming—is hard for me to talk about out in the open. So, here it goes (I warn you--it's long)…

I remember so vividly when I reached the centennial mark. Wow, losing 100 pounds—amazing. And yet, I woke up most mornings crying in the beginning. And these weren’t superficial tears, these were tears deep, down inside that have wanted to escape for a lifetime. It was like someone snapped their fingers and bam! I was different. I firmly believe in a thing called weight discrimination, because for all my life I’ve been a victim. And suddenly after losing 100 pounds, it stopped. People said I was paranoid. That no one was treating me differently and laughed it off like it was too absurd for a second thought. Yet, when I hit that magic mark, people did treat me differently and my beliefs—what I’ve felt for all my life, were validated.

During this time, my thoughts were dominated by figuring out how people could treat the same person so differently. A year ago, you would pass me in the aisle and try to get as far away as possible. Now, you come so close that we brush shirts, like I’m just an ordinary person. Why? I’m the same; I just look different on the outside. When I took the bus a year ago, you wouldn’t sit by me—you would rather stand in the aisle. Now, you choose to sit by me even though there are other open spots. A year ago, you would look at me and pass me like I’m nothing. Now, you walk past me, smile and say hello, like I’m human.

A year ago, I was treated subhuman. People defined me by my weight. And people had this deep-seated hatred for me or rather “my kind.” I was riding the bus one day a few years ago and this woman who usually always sits by this one guy, was upset when I took the spot next to him, so she couldn’t directly talk to him. She yelled across the bus, “You’ve got a black hole covering your sunshine, dear.” Laughter…

I had someone chew me out once because he saw I had a McDonald’s bag and asked me why I wanted to be fat. Like he was any better with his McDonald’s bag?

I’ve been spit on, gross stuff thrown in my hair, yelled at, “mooed” at, pushed around and all around made to feel like I wasn’t human. Like I didn’t deserve to live.

And that was one of my original motivations when I started this journey…Just to feel normal, like I was HUMAN.

And so, the conflict ensued in my mind…I enjoyed, for the first time in my life, being treated like I wasn’t a freak of nature. But, then I felt guilty because it just wasn’t right!

After six months, I’m still getting used to the difference. I would say most of the differences are due to people’s subconscious actions. It’s not like they’re trying to treat me differently. Our society teaches us that fat people are lazy, stupid and an overall menace to the world. So, I can’t place all the blame on the individual person. However, the overall snide remarks and actions, I place most the blame on the individual. There are always going to be hateful people in the world…but why is there so much hate for fat people? Is it because we’re any easy target? Is it because most people will ignore and/or even laugh at the havoc the bullies cause them? Maybe it was my nice personality that made people think I was an easy target?

There were times that I stood up against the discrimination. One night in my dorm room, I heard my neighbors and their boyfriends walk by. They stopped at our room and started talking about my roommate and I. They had nice things to say about my roommate, but when they got to me, they were laughing about how fat I was…I don’t remember the exact remarks, but it made me so upset that I got dressed (I was in bed about to sleep) and knocked on their door. I directed my brief statement to all four of them. I said something like this: “Hi. I just want to let you guys know that I heard what you said about me at my door. How dare you say that about me! You guys don’t even know me. You can talk all about how fat I am but my fat doesn’t define me. You have hurt my feelings and I have lost all respect for you! If I ever hear you guys talking about me in this discriminatory manner, I will complain to the floor advisor (we were in an honors floor).” I watched as their jaws dropped to the floor. When I was finished with my brief statement, I left their door open, proudly walking away with tears and a smile. I had done it. Finally, I stood up to my tormentors. Needless to say, my neighbors avoided me and really, I ignored them too. Toward the end of the school year, one of them (the other had moved out) came up to me in the bathroom and apologized and we were OK. This is just one story out of many. But most I didn’t stand up for myself.

So, now after many years, I am officially standing up for myself and anyone who has been in similar situations. I think the only way I will make a difference is doing what I’m doing now—writing this blog so people will learn about my experiences.

Whew…this was exhausting!