Reality has set in....

There are a lot of changes going on in my life right now, mostly positive ones! As my title says, reality has set in several ways. First, I'm actually starting to believe I can do the half marathon in November. This time last year I couldn't run a mile, well, not even a half mile. Now, I'm running 7 miles no problem! I'm realizing the sky is the limit; I can do anything I put my mind and body to. I'm starting to think about joining a recreational sports team, not sure which one yet, but I have some particular favorites. :-) Second, because of my increase in mileage, I need to buy new running shoes stat! If I can hold off to the beginning of August (like a week or so from now), I can buy some new ones. I also have to think about whether I will need to get another pair before November and whether I can break them in before GO time.

Third, for the first time in my life, I actually feel beautiful. Going on dates has helped me with this. Not to sound too conceited, but guys like looking at me. lol :-) I've always had guys who liked my physique, but I actually like it myself this time! So, slowly but surely, my confidence meter has risen to a respectable level. I am still self-conscious about some things. And this leads me to my next point. There are always going to be haters no matter your size. I think my successes have made a few jealous and envious so they nitpick on my insecurities. It hurts to a certain extent, because I have busted my ass to get where I'm at. I really challenge anyone who doubts me to follow me on my weekly training schedule and let's see who is left standing! I won't be taking a bow anytime soon! To all the doubters/haters out there, the more you nitpick, the harder I work and the better results I will obtain. THANK YOU!

All this cumulates to a huge revelation last night. I'm sorry; it's about clothes shopping again! I went to Dress Barn for the first time ever last night. I didn't know where to start...so many clothes! So, I just started walking left to go around clockwise. One of the employees greeted me and asked if I needed any help. I told her I was just browsing and this was the first time I've ever been there. She said, "Honey, you need to go to the other side. This is the plus size over here. You need the misses section." That is the best compliment I have ever received from a stranger! I was jumping up and down inside. Did I ever expect to hear that in my lifetime? No way! Did I ever expect to wear clothes which have M's and S's in the size? No, I'd thought the X's would win. End result: I bought a Size SMALL shirt on clearance!

Enjoying life as always! :-)

What is Plus Size?

I'm still thinking about my latest clothes shopping trip. I keep on talking about "plus size." But what is exactly is it? A year ago, I had a very different definition than I do now. Back then, it was anyone who fit a certain size, let's say 14 or above. Now, as I approach (and in some clothes surpass) my given threshold, I don't know what I'm supposed to be. My perspective has changed--everything is relative.

Several weeks ago, I went dancing at a club and a guy was asking about the "skinny" chick and the "big" chick. Yes, I was the big chick, but I was dancing next to a person with a totally different body shape and yes, she was some sizes smaller than me. It didn't really bother me being called big, maybe because I now know I will always be bigger than someone. I will never be the biggest nor the smallest. Anyway, who cares what a drunk dude says at a club?!

Then, there are people who say I'm getting too small and shouldn't lose anymore weight. I think I'm still going to be losing weight. But, losing the weight is definitely not why I'm doing it. Weight is a way to measure my progress. I believe I'm meant for bigger things. I believe someday I will be a respectable and competitive athlete. I believe I can find my balance someday.

This is a learning process, in which trial and error is used many times. Some things work; some don't. This is the way it should be; I'm actually finding more and more of my balance each week. It's getting easier to stick to the healthy lifestyle and harder to revert back to the unhealthy lifestyle. Food is no longer the enemy or the hero; it's just fuel for my "well-oiled" machine called my body. :-)

Funny quote to end my post...As a patron at the library once said, there goes the "white girl with the booty!" LOL

Clothes Shopping

This weekend as promised I went on a clothes shopping adventure. It seems nowadays clothes shopping can get very emotional. I admit it--I usually cry in the dressing room, or at least tear up a bit. You see, being a plus-sized woman, I am used to getting whatever fits me. Not having any choices. Now, I have choices. I don't have to get the leopard print moo-moo because that's the only thing in my size.

But, as I am realizing, this experience too is quite an adventure. I sometimes (actually all the time) am frustrated with how clothes are fitting me. The plus size is too big and the "other side" of the store is too small. At times, I feel like I'm a freak of nature, still not belonging to one side or the other. I've heard a lot of people say that "it's a good problem to have." But, it's so frustrating. I've ALWAYS been defined by being PLUS SIZE. Now, what am I?

This weekend I said goodbye to plus size stores. It was a joyous and somber occassion. I said hello to new places like Plato's closet.

Overall, it was a successful shopping experience. I found some clothes for home and work. :-)