As I was disinfecting the tables yesterday morning toward the end of class, one student was left in the room working on his program. He looked up when I approached and said, "Congratulations on a great job!" I was thinking: "Wow! this just made my day...someone complimented me on my cleaning skills!" He then pointed to my badge and said, "I noticed your picture. How much have you lost?"
I don't pay too much attention to this photo and most days I forget it's even there. But, what she represents is 170 pounds of excess, 170 pounds of blood, sweat and tears shed. She symbolizes a person who didn't believe in herself, who thought even running 1 mile was an unattainable dream...Well, even beyond the realm of dreams, more like fantasy. When I have time to reflect, I ask myself if this is real? Am I really doing this? Did I really lose all this weight or will I wake up in my former shell? Yes, it's real and I can do anything I put my mind, body and soul to. I want to ride a roller coaster without fear or embarrassment. I want to run a half marathon, a marathon and ultramarathon. I want to learn martial arts (particularly jujitsu). I want to climb another mountain (something a little more challenging than my first, Gloss Mountain in Oklahoma http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glass_Mountains). But first, maybe I should update the picture? :-)
My First
October 2010, My First 5K
Friday, May 27, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Did I Quit?
NEVER!
There’s a reason why it’s called the Never Quit 5K! It was my toughest challenge so far, but I pushed through and finished. The heat was by far the biggest obstacle. I lined up about 30 minutes early to get a decent spot and to watch the Navy Seals parachuting out of a helicopter. It was an awesome sight to see!! During the pre-race show, people were dropping from the heat and medics were being called left and right. I was already soaked in sweat before the race (I think it may have added a few pounds!). I actually finished my first mile in better time than 2 weeks ago, right under 11 minutes. The last half of the race was pure torture. The wind didn’t seem to be blowing as much and the heat was starting to wear its toll on me because the sun was more directly in my face. I couldn’t get too distracted by the peaceful sounds of the waves or the scent of the ocean, because I had to dodge landscape changes in the sand, including manmade ditches, leftover sand castles and the occasionally beachgoer lounging in his chair in the middle of the course. During the last mile, all I could think about was whether I could finish or should I just jump in the waves and let the water cool me. I felt like I was going to pass out and toward the very end, my stomach was getting sick. I thought it was a mirage, but I saw the yellow finish line in the distance. I saw the pier…I was getting closer, so why didn’t it seem like I was making progress? Alas, I eventually crossed the finish line!
After I passed the finish line, I remember seeing the silver platters of chocolate covered strawberries. I grabbed the biggest one in sight and I think I may have swallowed it whole! :-) I got my lei and then got a cold smoothie, some water and my sea turtle pendant from a Navy SEAL. After a banana and some additional water, I walked to my car, changed clothes and enjoyed the after party! I actually ran into some cool people I haven’t seen in a long time!
Next year, I expect to see some of you there with me. Although it’s a difficult race, the rush, the feeling you have after is indescribable. So, who will you never quit for? I will never quit for the half of me I’ve lost!
I ran the whole race and definitely tested my body physically and maybe even mentally. I don’t have my official time yet. I crossed the finish line in 40, but it took awhile to cross the start line, so I don’t have my official time yet. Oh well, I had fun! :-)
There’s a reason why it’s called the Never Quit 5K! It was my toughest challenge so far, but I pushed through and finished. The heat was by far the biggest obstacle. I lined up about 30 minutes early to get a decent spot and to watch the Navy Seals parachuting out of a helicopter. It was an awesome sight to see!! During the pre-race show, people were dropping from the heat and medics were being called left and right. I was already soaked in sweat before the race (I think it may have added a few pounds!). I actually finished my first mile in better time than 2 weeks ago, right under 11 minutes. The last half of the race was pure torture. The wind didn’t seem to be blowing as much and the heat was starting to wear its toll on me because the sun was more directly in my face. I couldn’t get too distracted by the peaceful sounds of the waves or the scent of the ocean, because I had to dodge landscape changes in the sand, including manmade ditches, leftover sand castles and the occasionally beachgoer lounging in his chair in the middle of the course. During the last mile, all I could think about was whether I could finish or should I just jump in the waves and let the water cool me. I felt like I was going to pass out and toward the very end, my stomach was getting sick. I thought it was a mirage, but I saw the yellow finish line in the distance. I saw the pier…I was getting closer, so why didn’t it seem like I was making progress? Alas, I eventually crossed the finish line!
After I passed the finish line, I remember seeing the silver platters of chocolate covered strawberries. I grabbed the biggest one in sight and I think I may have swallowed it whole! :-) I got my lei and then got a cold smoothie, some water and my sea turtle pendant from a Navy SEAL. After a banana and some additional water, I walked to my car, changed clothes and enjoyed the after party! I actually ran into some cool people I haven’t seen in a long time!
Next year, I expect to see some of you there with me. Although it’s a difficult race, the rush, the feeling you have after is indescribable. So, who will you never quit for? I will never quit for the half of me I’ve lost!
I ran the whole race and definitely tested my body physically and maybe even mentally. I don’t have my official time yet. I crossed the finish line in 40, but it took awhile to cross the start line, so I don’t have my official time yet. Oh well, I had fun! :-)
Friday, May 20, 2011
Never Quit Living Life
Tomorrow is the big day! The Never Quit 5K and Beach Fest is tomorrow evening. This most recent challenge couldn't come at a better time. I am so ready to run on the beach to fight against the wind and then let the wind carry me to the finish line (and red carpet! :-) ).
On the race bib, each participant is supposed to write who he/she is not quitting for. I've been thinking about this a lot...I know what I want to write, but I don't want to seem selfish. Is it okay to write myself? This is the year that I'm not quitting; bit by bit I'm flushing out the weaknesses that led me to what I became. I will never quit for my former fat self. Wow, it just sounds really weird to say "former" in front of fat. A part of me feels like I haven't earned the write to say it yet. A part of me thinks I have every right to say it and feel proud. And then there's another part that thinks "fat" is just another relative term. One person's fat is not another person's fat. So, what's the big deal?
Another important part of the race is the attire. This will be the first time EVER that I'm wearing a tank top out in public without covering myself. It's completely sleeveless! Aaaaaahhh! I'm a little nervous....but I think I'll be worrying more about finishing faster to really pay attention or care. Yes, I'll have my game face on!
In addition to Saturday's festivities, on Sunday I'm going with 3 awesome people to Marineland to the dolphin touch and feed program. I can't wait to interact with the dolphins....it's going to be some good therapy for my soul!
I will never quit NEVER!
On the race bib, each participant is supposed to write who he/she is not quitting for. I've been thinking about this a lot...I know what I want to write, but I don't want to seem selfish. Is it okay to write myself? This is the year that I'm not quitting; bit by bit I'm flushing out the weaknesses that led me to what I became. I will never quit for my former fat self. Wow, it just sounds really weird to say "former" in front of fat. A part of me feels like I haven't earned the write to say it yet. A part of me thinks I have every right to say it and feel proud. And then there's another part that thinks "fat" is just another relative term. One person's fat is not another person's fat. So, what's the big deal?
Another important part of the race is the attire. This will be the first time EVER that I'm wearing a tank top out in public without covering myself. It's completely sleeveless! Aaaaaahhh! I'm a little nervous....but I think I'll be worrying more about finishing faster to really pay attention or care. Yes, I'll have my game face on!
In addition to Saturday's festivities, on Sunday I'm going with 3 awesome people to Marineland to the dolphin touch and feed program. I can't wait to interact with the dolphins....it's going to be some good therapy for my soul!
I will never quit NEVER!
Days 38 and 39
Day 38: 0.5 mi
Day 39: 3.0 mi
TOTAL: 52.2 miles
I am officially one third completed with this challenge, about 10 days ahead of schedule...Woohoo!
Day 39: 3.0 mi
TOTAL: 52.2 miles
I am officially one third completed with this challenge, about 10 days ahead of schedule...Woohoo!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Too Fat To Fly?
I saw this news story on The Today Show while I was heading out for work this morning. http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43065073
It's nothing really shocking. Southwest has always had a reputation for not being fat-friendly. I've searched through blogs, list servs, groups, etc. and all of them report negative experiences with this particular airline. I think the agent could have handled it a little more delicately and followed the procedures for such a situation. However, I also see why the airlines require purchasing another seat--for safety reasons and comfort reasons.
I haven't flown anywhere since October 2010, but when I was bigger I always came prepared with a seat belt extender. Just in case the seat belt wouldn't snap into place. Yes, most airlines have seat belt extenders on the plane, but it's embarrassing to ask and I've heard they're brightly colored and make you stand out.
In addition, to avoid the situation and embarrassment, I just wouldn't fly anywhere.
Until this morning, I haven't really thought about how my experience on a plane will change. I don't have to worry about seat belt extenders or being afraid the agent will tell me I need to buy an extra seat. It makes me wanna fly somewhere, anywhere!
So, my whole opinion boils down to this: I don't think it's unfair for airlines to require some passengers to purchase an extra seat if their size encroaches another seat or may disturb the safety of the plane's operations. However, I don't care what situation it may be, it's not alright to embarrass a customer like that.
In case you are interested, the "too fat to fly" passenger has a blog: http://www.blogher.com/frame.php?url=http://alltheweigh2009.blogspot.com/2011/04/day-southwest-airlines-turned-my-old.html She has lost over 100 pounds.
Where should I fly to first? :-)
It's nothing really shocking. Southwest has always had a reputation for not being fat-friendly. I've searched through blogs, list servs, groups, etc. and all of them report negative experiences with this particular airline. I think the agent could have handled it a little more delicately and followed the procedures for such a situation. However, I also see why the airlines require purchasing another seat--for safety reasons and comfort reasons.
I haven't flown anywhere since October 2010, but when I was bigger I always came prepared with a seat belt extender. Just in case the seat belt wouldn't snap into place. Yes, most airlines have seat belt extenders on the plane, but it's embarrassing to ask and I've heard they're brightly colored and make you stand out.
In addition, to avoid the situation and embarrassment, I just wouldn't fly anywhere.
Until this morning, I haven't really thought about how my experience on a plane will change. I don't have to worry about seat belt extenders or being afraid the agent will tell me I need to buy an extra seat. It makes me wanna fly somewhere, anywhere!
So, my whole opinion boils down to this: I don't think it's unfair for airlines to require some passengers to purchase an extra seat if their size encroaches another seat or may disturb the safety of the plane's operations. However, I don't care what situation it may be, it's not alright to embarrass a customer like that.
In case you are interested, the "too fat to fly" passenger has a blog: http://www.blogher.com/frame.php?url=http://alltheweigh2009.blogspot.com/2011/04/day-southwest-airlines-turned-my-old.html She has lost over 100 pounds.
Where should I fly to first? :-)
Days 27-37
Need to keep up with this more!
Day 27: Human Race 5K, 3.1 mi
Day 28: 1.0 mi
Day 29: 1.0 mi
Day 30: 1.0 mi
Day 31: 1.0 mi
Day 32: 1.0 mi
Day 33: off...not a good day
Day 34: 4.0 mi!
Day 35: 1.0 mi
Day 36: 1.5 mi
Day 37: off!
TOTAL: 48.7 mi (almost 1/3 completed!)
Day 27: Human Race 5K, 3.1 mi
Day 28: 1.0 mi
Day 29: 1.0 mi
Day 30: 1.0 mi
Day 31: 1.0 mi
Day 32: 1.0 mi
Day 33: off...not a good day
Day 34: 4.0 mi!
Day 35: 1.0 mi
Day 36: 1.5 mi
Day 37: off!
TOTAL: 48.7 mi (almost 1/3 completed!)
Monday, May 16, 2011
Heartbreak and Running
Sorry about my absence. The past week or so has been a roller coaster ride, but that's what life is, right--one crazy ride?
I absolutely hate having my heart broken. In the past, my coping skills for this type of situation would be a chocolate cookies 'n' cream explosion ice cream, double the sprinkles, and oh add some kit kats too. I refused to do it this time. Instead, I got up the next morning, and started running. I ran 4 miles and then walked 1.
During the run, I crossed paths with one of my heroes. I see him running every day along the same path (University N). He must be at least 70. I wave at him when I'm driving to work. This particular morning, though, we were running on opposite sides of the road. We gave the familiar runner's nod and we then exchanged the top-secret, for runners only, hand gesture (LOL). Then, I was about half way through the run when I heard my name. I turned around and it was one of the volunteers from my job. Interesting what you will see on a Saturday morning running.
I don't have my running log with me, so I don't know exactly where I'm at as far as mileage. I know I'm getting close to being a third completed, which is ahead of schedule.
I feel very proud of myself for taking this negative event in my life and trying to produce positive results. This week I'm going to decide on my first half marathon....so excited!
Lastly, I want to thank EVERYONE for their support. I feel so loved and I'm lucky to know every one of you.
I absolutely hate having my heart broken. In the past, my coping skills for this type of situation would be a chocolate cookies 'n' cream explosion ice cream, double the sprinkles, and oh add some kit kats too. I refused to do it this time. Instead, I got up the next morning, and started running. I ran 4 miles and then walked 1.
During the run, I crossed paths with one of my heroes. I see him running every day along the same path (University N). He must be at least 70. I wave at him when I'm driving to work. This particular morning, though, we were running on opposite sides of the road. We gave the familiar runner's nod and we then exchanged the top-secret, for runners only, hand gesture (LOL). Then, I was about half way through the run when I heard my name. I turned around and it was one of the volunteers from my job. Interesting what you will see on a Saturday morning running.
I don't have my running log with me, so I don't know exactly where I'm at as far as mileage. I know I'm getting close to being a third completed, which is ahead of schedule.
I feel very proud of myself for taking this negative event in my life and trying to produce positive results. This week I'm going to decide on my first half marathon....so excited!
Lastly, I want to thank EVERYONE for their support. I feel so loved and I'm lucky to know every one of you.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Ode to Running and the 5K
About 7 months ago, I started running races. I didn't realize how much passion I would have for it. It's kinda crazy to think about life without it!
It started out as a dream. Three years ago, I started thinking about running, although I couldn't run at all. It just seemed like it would be fun and graceful, like a bird gliding in the breeze. When I told people about my dream to run, some people said, "that's cool" and some just laughed at me like I was nuts. One person actually told me, "You will never be able to do that." It didn't help at the time, but it's always been a driving force behind me going further.
And so today, I waited for the gun, thinking about how many of my dreams have come true in the past 7 months and how many are left. Today was graduation day.
You really helped me, 5K, discover my potential. But now, it's time to move to bigger races, to bigger dreams, to bigger obstacles. Don't worry....I'll visit you from time to time as my training progresses....
Now, for the fun stuff...my results:
Since the Gate River Run 5K, I have improved my time by 3 minutes. I ran this race today without stopping. I kept repeating: "slow, but steady wins the race."
At the first mile, I had to blink my eyes several times to make sure I wasn't dreaming: 11:20!! Second mile was 11:50 and third mile I think was in the 13 minute range (need to work more on keeping a consistent pace!). Overall, I finished the race in 36:41, my pace being 11:50. Woohoo in the 11-minute range! :-)
It was a beautiful morning to run...even got a suprise on my windshield--Florida snow! (ash from a wildfire!) I did a pretty good job on picking a target to follow--Thank you guy in the yellow shirt and green shorts...and thank you for letting me pass you the last mile...it was fun while it lasted!
What's next? I'm contemplating doing the Never Quit Beach Fest 5K in a few weeks, because I want to run on the beach so bad! I will probably do a 5K every few months or so. But my main focus is now the monster half marathon!
Thanks for reading! :-)
It started out as a dream. Three years ago, I started thinking about running, although I couldn't run at all. It just seemed like it would be fun and graceful, like a bird gliding in the breeze. When I told people about my dream to run, some people said, "that's cool" and some just laughed at me like I was nuts. One person actually told me, "You will never be able to do that." It didn't help at the time, but it's always been a driving force behind me going further.
And so today, I waited for the gun, thinking about how many of my dreams have come true in the past 7 months and how many are left. Today was graduation day.
You really helped me, 5K, discover my potential. But now, it's time to move to bigger races, to bigger dreams, to bigger obstacles. Don't worry....I'll visit you from time to time as my training progresses....
Now, for the fun stuff...my results:
Since the Gate River Run 5K, I have improved my time by 3 minutes. I ran this race today without stopping. I kept repeating: "slow, but steady wins the race."
At the first mile, I had to blink my eyes several times to make sure I wasn't dreaming: 11:20!! Second mile was 11:50 and third mile I think was in the 13 minute range (need to work more on keeping a consistent pace!). Overall, I finished the race in 36:41, my pace being 11:50. Woohoo in the 11-minute range! :-)
It was a beautiful morning to run...even got a suprise on my windshield--Florida snow! (ash from a wildfire!) I did a pretty good job on picking a target to follow--Thank you guy in the yellow shirt and green shorts...and thank you for letting me pass you the last mile...it was fun while it lasted!
What's next? I'm contemplating doing the Never Quit Beach Fest 5K in a few weeks, because I want to run on the beach so bad! I will probably do a 5K every few months or so. But my main focus is now the monster half marathon!
Thanks for reading! :-)
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Changing....
What a difference a few weeks make! Although my body is changing constantly, it seems like the past week or so the changes have been drastic.
I'm seeing the shape of bones, particularly in the hands which I have never been able to see as clearly as now.
The clothes are a challenge each week. I have three bags in my closet: one for a homeless shelter, the second for a clothes swap and third a bag of throw-aways. And every week, I add more items to each bag. Particularly this week, I have seen a big change in how clothes are fitting me. My poor khaki pants never stood a chance (I didn't realize how hard it is to find nice fitting khakis!). My "wear-around-the-house" clothes are also taking a toll. On Tuesday night, I was taking out two bags of trash when my pants dropped right above the knees. Luckily, I don't think anyone saw me and I was wearing a long shirt, so it was all good. Another one bites the dust!
Another change I feel is my appetite. You know how work is (phone calls, clients, class, paperwork, etc.)...sometimes, you just can't fit in those in-between-meal snacks. Well, if I miss even one snack, it feels like I'm dying of hunger. I can no longer survive without those snacks! My metabolism has increased another level!
My endurance has also increased a lot, so I have to find new ways to switch it up with my body. My trainer Marie does an excellent job of this and pushing my body to its limits. The classes help a lot too. Power pump and 300 change each month; zumba lets me physically express myself a little different each time. I also change the distances and speeds of my running.
One last thing....When I originally started my journey almost two years ago, my goal weight was 180. 180=the big prize in the sky! Well, not only did I achieve my ultimate long term goal this week, I have also surpassed it! Now, my goals are more oriented to running milestones. Here's to many more goals achieved and many changes which await me in the future....
I'm seeing the shape of bones, particularly in the hands which I have never been able to see as clearly as now.
The clothes are a challenge each week. I have three bags in my closet: one for a homeless shelter, the second for a clothes swap and third a bag of throw-aways. And every week, I add more items to each bag. Particularly this week, I have seen a big change in how clothes are fitting me. My poor khaki pants never stood a chance (I didn't realize how hard it is to find nice fitting khakis!). My "wear-around-the-house" clothes are also taking a toll. On Tuesday night, I was taking out two bags of trash when my pants dropped right above the knees. Luckily, I don't think anyone saw me and I was wearing a long shirt, so it was all good. Another one bites the dust!
Another change I feel is my appetite. You know how work is (phone calls, clients, class, paperwork, etc.)...sometimes, you just can't fit in those in-between-meal snacks. Well, if I miss even one snack, it feels like I'm dying of hunger. I can no longer survive without those snacks! My metabolism has increased another level!
My endurance has also increased a lot, so I have to find new ways to switch it up with my body. My trainer Marie does an excellent job of this and pushing my body to its limits. The classes help a lot too. Power pump and 300 change each month; zumba lets me physically express myself a little different each time. I also change the distances and speeds of my running.
One last thing....When I originally started my journey almost two years ago, my goal weight was 180. 180=the big prize in the sky! Well, not only did I achieve my ultimate long term goal this week, I have also surpassed it! Now, my goals are more oriented to running milestones. Here's to many more goals achieved and many changes which await me in the future....
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
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