It...is...here

Right now I have a lot of butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I can't I believe I'm up at 3-something in the morning and I can't believe I'm about to embark on my first 13.1. I'm signed up for my pace team at the expo; it's the slowest pace for the half, but I think it'll keep me on track and push me to finish at a steady pace.

I don't know what will happen when I cross the finish line. I'm kinda nervous about that too. It's like graduation day. I have fought so hard to get here. And now it is here.

It's almost here!

I can't believe in a little over 24 hours I'll be lining up for my first half marathon...It's crazy! I need to get to bed but I'm too excited to sleep. We are leaving for Kennedy Space Center early in the morning to pick up my race packet and to watch the Atlas V rocket launch. Then, some relaxation for the rest of the day. I'll be taking lots of pictures to share. :-) About to make some hot tea...maybe that'll relax the nerves!

Confession Time

It's confession time...I'm sitting here watching a movie on Netflix wearing my 26/28 pair of workout pants and the 3X t-shirt I wore for my first walk circa February 2009. Why am I keeping clothes that are 20 sizes too big for me? Well, they are sooo comfortable and for at least the t-shirt, it's sentimental. In fact, I have kept every race/walk shirt since starting. Each one is like a trophy, proof that I made it. I'm not sure what I'll do with them--maybe make a quilt eventually. In the meantime, I'm going to wear my comfy 3X shirt and enjoy it. :-)

2 weeks...

Several weeks ago I came to terms with the end of my weight loss journey. And now I'm only 2 weeks away from completing another milestone...finishing my first half marathon. I'm nervous, excited, sad and happy. I'm wondering how I'm going to feel as I line up with my pace team at the start. I'm wondering what I'll be thinking about during the race. If I make it to the finish line, what will I do? Will I collapse? Will I be crying? Screaming? Doing a zumba shuffle?

I'm nervous and excited because it's been a llllooooonnng time coming. Two freakin' years....I don't want to disappoint myself and everyone else. I'm sad because this is yet another end and I'm happy because this ending is another fresh beginning.

I just have a lot of thoughts swirling around right now. If the 10-mile race was any indication, after the gun fired, I felt this overwhelming peace embrace me. I hope the same thing happens on 11.27!

One-year later...

I look back at the moment frequently. I could have easily slept in that morning or made up some excuse not to go. But, I'm so thankful that I took the big leap into the racing world on October 9, 2010.

Larissa, the runner, was born that day. She had lost 80 pounds and had gained a bit of confidence about her self-worth. It was time for her to accomplish a long-term goal: completing a 5K.

I'm pretty sure people thought I was crazy. Why is this fat girl wanting to run? I'm not entirely sure why I wanted to--guess it seemed like a fun and freeing activity. And maybe, just maybe, I wanted to prove to myself and the doubters out there that I could do it.

Reflecting back on my first 5K, I would describe it as extremely challenging. Ok, I'm not going to sugar-coat it. I was hurting and sweating like I've never hurt and sweated before. I was counting the minutes, the steps until it was over. But as I crossed the finish line, however, it was the MOST AMAZING feeling. Despite the pain, I felt great. I felt accomplished. I felt like super woman!

As I was listening to the awards presentation at the end of the race, I told myself: "Someday, you will get under 30."

It's taken me a year, but I think I'm ready. I'm ready to stake my claim at the top of this mountain.

Challenge Completed....So, what's next?

I've missed blogging....but life has gotten so interesting the past two months. Since the last blog post, I've ran one 5-mile race and two 5Ks. I've decreased my pace time from 11:27 to 9:46 in that same time frame. :-) I have ran more than 150 miles in less than 150 days. I am pretty proud!

So, what's next?

• First, I want to run a 5K under 30 minutes, which WILL happen on the one-year anniversary of the beginning of my running career. THE HUMAN RACE 10/8/11!! http://www.handsonjacksonville.org/HOJ_HumanRace. I am running for the adult literacy nonprofit Learn to Read Jacksonville. Our team is raising funds to help 1 in 5 adults improve their literacy skills and quality of life in Duval County. If you would like to donate to the team, either write a check payable to Learn to Read, Inc. and I'll collect it OR donate online . Everyone is welcome to cheer on Team Learn to Read at the race. It starts at 8 am at St. Johns Town Center...I hope to see you there! :-)





• Second, I will continue training for my first half marathon in November. SPACE COAST HALF MARATHON http://www.spacecoastmarathon.com/. My goal is to run the ENTIRE 13.1 miles in under 3.5 hours.
  




• Third, I want to shift my focus a bit to not only helping myself but helping others. I want to see others start running/walking, becoming healthier and living life as if it's an adventure not a chore.

For all those who haven't seen it or haven't looked at it lately, my Bailey's Gym testimonial "after" picture was updated. What a difference two years make!!

A Sign

The past four weeks could be described as a whirlwind, a beginning of a new chapter in my life. I have met someone who likes me for me, who is proud of my journey and someone who embraces every aspect of my being. We just get along and enjoy every millisecond of each other’s company. This new chapter isn’t solely dependent on meeting a man. Things have just fallen into place. My running and fitness are going well; I am completely confident that the half marathon is an attainable achievement. And I’m realizing more and more that I am not substandard to anyone and I deserve to be confident and proud. I should boast that loose skin as a sign of my failures and accomplishments. :-)

On Friday, I got a major sign of what my new chapter will include. Relatively speaking, I’ve been pretty quiet on the radar as far as openly expressing my journey. Back in December, I was nominated for being featured as a success story on the Bailey’s Gym new website. I wrote a few paragraphs and included a before and after picture. I thought about it from time to time, but forgot about it until I mentioned it to Matt last Wednesday. On Friday I got a thank you card from the gym. I am one of the few selected as a success story on the gym’s new website! When I looked at the what was back then a “current” picture, I was amazed at how much I’ve changed! That was about 80 pounds ago! Four more 5ks on my racing belt! And a whole lot of extra calories consumed! I’m sending in a more “current” picture. I mention two people specifically in my testimonial. Val, my zumba instructor, because without zumba, I would have never learned to express myself in this unique way. Zumba was the first class I attended at Bailey’s and at least in the beginning, was the only reason I came to the gym. Secondly, I mention Marie, my personal trainer. No amount of words could ever describe how grateful I am for her help, her commitment to someone who others didn’t see the fire inside of me. And, oh yes, I had a fire, but just needed someone to light it. I also can’t forget to mention my two families in Jacksonville. My library fam has been there since before the beginning and their support and encouragement…it’s helped more than anyone will ever realize. My gym fam never gave up on me. It made a difference when you remembered my name when I first started coming to the gym. I can genuinely tell you guys care about me and want to see me succeed. My zumba gals deserve a special mention. Your friendships have helped me so much through all legs of this journey. :-)

If you would like to see my testimonial (updated picture to come soon), visit my page http://baileysgym.com/about-bailey's/testimonials/larissa-buchholz.aspx .

I take this recent development as a sign of what's to come. I think it’s time….